FROM WORDS TO WISDOM: NURTURING YOUR CHILD’S COMMUNICATION SKILLS

From Words to Wisdom: Nurturing Your Child’s Communication Skills

“Children learn more from what you ARE than what you TEACH.”  – W. E. B. DuBois

In this blog we will talk about how one can help build an everlasting bonding relationship with their children through effective and open communication that will act as the nucleus of any successful educational experience for their little ones.

We at Manav Sthali Global School have always supported this ideology that the best parent-child relationships are characterised by positive communication and interaction during child’s early years. It is well known to everyone that good communication constitutes as an important parenting skill. Every single interaction that you have with your child is a form of communication. It’s not just about the words you say: The tone of your voice, the look in your eyes and the cuddles you bestow on – all convey messages to your child. Children begin to form ideas and beliefs about themselves based on how their parents communicate with them. When parents communicate effectively with their children, they show them admiration and respect. They begin to feel that they are heard and understood by their parents, which further augments their self-esteem and self-worth.

Talking with your child should be an important daily event. But, usually it has been witnessed that parents are sometimes held up with their busy schedules. So, they find it convenient to keep the conversation with their children light and quick so that they can move on to their next thing on their “To-Do” List. This has become a harsh reality. Despite spending hours with your child under the same roof, one can seldom squeeze out some quality time to spend with your little fledgling.

Here are few strategies that parents can use to build healthy relationships that will benefit and support their child through their learning progression:

1. TUNING IN: THE ART OF ACTIVE LISTENING : – Lending your ear helps children to feel heard and understood. By using gestures such as encouraging smiles and affirming nods you can show that you are engaged with what your child is saying and really care. Getting down to the same eye level as your child as they speak to you can help them feel safer and more connected to you. Show that you are listening attentively to what they have to say by asking them questions like “What?” “Why?” and “How?”. This also helps your child to improve their own communication skills by teaching them how to tell a story and what details to include.
2.    REFLECTING ATTENTION: CAPTURING FOCUS THROUGH YOUR EYES  : – Every time you talk to your child or when your child is talking to you, maintain eye contact. Maintaining eye contact indicates that you are active and attentive in the conversation. If you cannot hold eye contact, get on your knees or sit down, so your eyes are on the same level as his/her. This will encourage open and transparent communication.
3. EMBRACE POSITIVE PRACTICES: DO’S FOR EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION : – “Don’t hit your sister/brother”, “Don’t sit like that” one often says this to the little ones. You, as a parent know what you don’t want to happen, so you lead in with a “DON’T” statement. Even though this statement would convey the message rightly of not doing a particular thing, but the downside of “DON’T” statements prove that you fail to promote the positive behaviour you want to see. Therefore, you are more likely to reinforce the behaviour you don’t want. Instead, you should use more respectful “DO” statements. Swapping your “DON’TS” for “DOS” can look like this: “Play gently with your sister. “or “Please keep your back straight while sitting.”
4. A PALETTE OF POSITIVITY: PAINTING CONVERSATIONS WITH GENTLE WORDS :- Kind words create a respectful relationship and better communication with your child. It is true that children who are spoken to with appreciation and respect also have better self-confidence, which allows them to prosper. On the contrary, unkind words leave them feeling disliked. Some examples of kind words are: “Thank you for helping me with the dishes.” “You did a great job of getting your room clean.” “That really makes me feel good.” “I love you “and so on.
5. REFLECTIVE LISTENING: A MIRROR TO EMOTIONS :- A great way to show your child that you are paying attention and care about what they have to say is by acting like a mirror. Repeat what they say to you using different words. For example, if your child says, “I’m not playing with Sam/Samira anymore,” you could respond with, “You are not playing with your friend anymore? Why? What Happened?” This leaves room for your child to express their emotions without judgment. You might be surprised at how much they have to say!!
6. FROM PARENT TO COACH: FOSTERING EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE :- They say that the ability to listen is as important as the ability to speak. In doing so, you can develop an emotional bond essential for establishing and maintaining mutual respect. Children who grow up in families that spend time talking about emotions are more academically successful, have better friendships, and can handle difficult social situations more effectively than children whose families do not talk about feelings. To help your child develop emotional quotient, it is important for them to learn how to express their feelings. When children learn to articulate their feelings, listen to what they have to say with empathy and without judgment. ‘CONSIDER WHAT LIFE LOOKS LIKE THROUGH THEIR LENS.’ If your little one is expressing his/her feelings in a non-verbal way – for example through a temper tantrum or laughing and having fun doing an activity they enjoy – help them put it in words to how they feel, such as when they feel happy, sad, relaxed, hurt, scared, hungry, proud, sleepy, angry, helpless, irritated, embarrassed or joyful.
7. THE BEHAVIOR-COMMUNICATION CONNECTION: ANCHORING SKILLS IN ACTION : – If you are upset with your child about something, make sure that your criticism and comments are directed at their behaviour and not at them as a person. For example, instead of “I don’t like that you are messy.” instead you can say “I don’t like it when you leave your clothes all over the floor.” 
8. GUIDING LIGHTS: LEADING BY EXAMPLE : – Consider pushing the envelope through your leading example. Parents are children’s introduction to the world. What your child sees you doing is as important as what they hear you say. Getting your kids to open up to and confide in you will surely help to build and maintain conviction and trust between both.
9. GUIDING WITH CLARITY: RATIONAL APPROACH TO CORRECTIONS :- Never load your child’s mind with comments like ‘Stop behaving like this ‘or ‘This is not how it is done’ as these correcting remarks would never be enough to instill a new behaviour in your child. What is essential is that a calm explanation should also be provided for it. Giving a composed clarification will help your child understand the implications of their behaviour for others. For Instance – If your child teases another child for wearing glasses, explain to your child that wearing glasses helps the other child to see well. Also, remind your child kindly that teasing can hurt others’ feelings.
10. FUELLING PROGRESS: FEEDBACK AS A GROWTH TOOL:– Show your child the value of feedback. Teach them to receive criticism positively and use it as a tool for growth. Additionally, teach them to provide constructive feedback to others, promoting a culture of improvement.

To conclude, the world can be overwhelming for the children as good communication is the heart of harmonious homes and is the central key to maintain a healthy relationship with them. Just remember that it is this nurturing communication and cooperation where your child can truly thrive and eventually blossom into a responsible, empathetic, and an empowered adult.